What is Life without challenge ?
What is relationship without passion ?
What is buisness without ambition ?
What is a conversation without thought provocation ?
What is a career without direction ?
What is success without humility ?
What is failure without brain damage ?
What is a sport without team effort ?
What is a man without character ?
What is a women without purity ?
What is a mind without activity ?
What is a death without complete satisfaction !!!
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Just Freezed !!
Semester is almost over and I just realized that within 3 days I will be at home. The thought is freezing in the sense, this is all over my mind now and I cant think beyond it. So, my mind is freezed but my fingers are working.
There are so many things I have planned to do when go home like visit my friends in mumbai, goto pushkar with them then, have some marijuana there, ohh man life will be again rolling. Plus, I have to read some stuff and I have to appear for a test the next day from the day I come back.
I cant wait but to get home and have a real blasting time !!
Over and out then.
There are so many things I have planned to do when go home like visit my friends in mumbai, goto pushkar with them then, have some marijuana there, ohh man life will be again rolling. Plus, I have to read some stuff and I have to appear for a test the next day from the day I come back.
I cant wait but to get home and have a real blasting time !!
Over and out then.
Monday, December 19, 2005
Computer Scientists
"Bunch of people who are socially uncomfortable, decide to spend their lives with computers." - Anonymous.
My first thought is why do people study computer science ? When there are so many interesting things to study like music, litrature, philosophy, ... list is endless.
why to study something which had nothing to do with humans but has been introduced to pose as improving life of people at the cost of who are behind it. I am trying to contemplate why do people are ready to sacrifice their life for this non-human subject.
Just for the sake of money or to focus on something which can keep them away from normal people. I know I want neither of these things, I want to work with regular people who love to socialize rather than some machine loving morons.
I have chosen to write on Computer Science, but the same may be true for basic sciences field like Mathematics, Physics, etc. So, the question remains, that what kind of satisfaction do people get from studying basic sciences. It is no doubt the most demanding fields to study and people who can excell here are arguably intellectually most competent. But, life is fair in the sense, if it gives you intellectual talent, it takes out the socializing element out of you. It might sound funny but this is so true.
I have been to Computer Science socials, there is different kind of fun I had, I was laughing at people's sense of humour. All the jokes you will hear will have Core Computer Science terminology in it, trust me I dont get even a bit of these. When I am among the Computer Science fraternity, I really fear what a pathetic Computer Science graduate student I am. I dont get along with them, dont understand their jokes, errrrr....., I feel so misplaced.
Yaa, but there are good things to it, they make hell loads amount of money. Life is fair, they are paid for their mechanical lives. So, all those guys who want to study Computer Science, just because it fetches more money than any other profession, think twice !!
My first thought is why do people study computer science ? When there are so many interesting things to study like music, litrature, philosophy, ... list is endless.
why to study something which had nothing to do with humans but has been introduced to pose as improving life of people at the cost of who are behind it. I am trying to contemplate why do people are ready to sacrifice their life for this non-human subject.
Just for the sake of money or to focus on something which can keep them away from normal people. I know I want neither of these things, I want to work with regular people who love to socialize rather than some machine loving morons.
I have chosen to write on Computer Science, but the same may be true for basic sciences field like Mathematics, Physics, etc. So, the question remains, that what kind of satisfaction do people get from studying basic sciences. It is no doubt the most demanding fields to study and people who can excell here are arguably intellectually most competent. But, life is fair in the sense, if it gives you intellectual talent, it takes out the socializing element out of you. It might sound funny but this is so true.
I have been to Computer Science socials, there is different kind of fun I had, I was laughing at people's sense of humour. All the jokes you will hear will have Core Computer Science terminology in it, trust me I dont get even a bit of these. When I am among the Computer Science fraternity, I really fear what a pathetic Computer Science graduate student I am. I dont get along with them, dont understand their jokes, errrrr....., I feel so misplaced.
Yaa, but there are good things to it, they make hell loads amount of money. Life is fair, they are paid for their mechanical lives. So, all those guys who want to study Computer Science, just because it fetches more money than any other profession, think twice !!
NonVegetarians Cant be Animal Lovers
just had an argument with some of people, one guy said that he can eat chicken but he wont eat the chicken, he owns.
I: This is contradictory
A: why?
I: hmm ..... (thinking) ... its because either you love animals or not
B reasons: A Canibal would not eat his owns son
I got the point that there is no point in going further.
Buts lets have it here:
I: How would a canibal feel if another canibal ate his son ?
All I mean is it is skewed reasoning if you dont treat everyone equal.
Anyways there are like this lot of ways to explain this but the point is people dont have clarity of thought and this is wot the purpose of this post is.
I: This is contradictory
A: why?
I: hmm ..... (thinking) ... its because either you love animals or not
B reasons: A Canibal would not eat his owns son
I got the point that there is no point in going further.
Buts lets have it here:
I: How would a canibal feel if another canibal ate his son ?
All I mean is it is skewed reasoning if you dont treat everyone equal.
Anyways there are like this lot of ways to explain this but the point is people dont have clarity of thought and this is wot the purpose of this post is.
Immigrants Life
People might accuse me as a sadist, but that is not going to change me, because I am a determistically stubborn man. This article is dedicated to all the immigrants who are ready to put their professional life above personal life. The reason I am writing this article is because I got to know today how people from east asia, when they come to America feel when they are here for a longer period of time. There is nothing new in this article but this is just my way of looking at things.
When anyone is in his 20s, he has the zeal and enthusiasm to change his life if not change the world. This brings many people to this land, land of opportunities as they call it. This is the time when adrenaline is highest and we are ready to leave our country and start a life all over again in a foreign land. And many of them are rich, have big cars, house which none of them would have dreamt with petty salaries they would have got back in their country. The reward is really awesome, american salary is really addictive, no doubts about that.
Now comes the real part, it is not easy to get away with all the money, a price has to be paid for this. And the price has to be paid on the day you enter this country and then each day after that. You are in a foreign land and you know very few people around, you have to start your life all over again. But, mind you things will never be any close to the comforts one enjoys at home. By home, I mean a place where you can be completely relaxed and there is someone always there to pamper you. You loose on this big time. Specially, america is one hell of a cold country, weather is ruthlessly cold and this has gone into the people also. Even the bright sunny days are brutally cold, I really fealt the meaning of this line "Days are bright, but filled with pain" - Jim Morrison. If you are devoid of emotions, you are a winner then, otherwise, read further, I have more in store.
It doesnt end here, you go back home after a long time hoping to get everything back you used to cherish. But now, you dont feel a part of your people, you have been changed by the american society, if not much, but sufficient enough. Now, you dont like socialing as much as your people do. Its a real ironical life. You have gained lot of wealth and lost who knows wot.
But, there are things to cherish, you have american salary now, and I tell you this it is damn addictive. Now, you can go anywhere across the world and it doesnt cost much to you. Plus, being away from home and being just you is not that bad. It has many good things to it too. Its different kind of fun, you get lot of time with yourself and you get more time to think and it improves your clarity of mind.
Anyways, life is never perfect, I see most of people in india longing to come to US, there are people in the other side also but they are less and majority counts. So, immigrants win, natives loose.
Author is an immigrant, so dont expect fairness.
When anyone is in his 20s, he has the zeal and enthusiasm to change his life if not change the world. This brings many people to this land, land of opportunities as they call it. This is the time when adrenaline is highest and we are ready to leave our country and start a life all over again in a foreign land. And many of them are rich, have big cars, house which none of them would have dreamt with petty salaries they would have got back in their country. The reward is really awesome, american salary is really addictive, no doubts about that.
Now comes the real part, it is not easy to get away with all the money, a price has to be paid for this. And the price has to be paid on the day you enter this country and then each day after that. You are in a foreign land and you know very few people around, you have to start your life all over again. But, mind you things will never be any close to the comforts one enjoys at home. By home, I mean a place where you can be completely relaxed and there is someone always there to pamper you. You loose on this big time. Specially, america is one hell of a cold country, weather is ruthlessly cold and this has gone into the people also. Even the bright sunny days are brutally cold, I really fealt the meaning of this line "Days are bright, but filled with pain" - Jim Morrison. If you are devoid of emotions, you are a winner then, otherwise, read further, I have more in store.
It doesnt end here, you go back home after a long time hoping to get everything back you used to cherish. But now, you dont feel a part of your people, you have been changed by the american society, if not much, but sufficient enough. Now, you dont like socialing as much as your people do. Its a real ironical life. You have gained lot of wealth and lost who knows wot.
But, there are things to cherish, you have american salary now, and I tell you this it is damn addictive. Now, you can go anywhere across the world and it doesnt cost much to you. Plus, being away from home and being just you is not that bad. It has many good things to it too. Its different kind of fun, you get lot of time with yourself and you get more time to think and it improves your clarity of mind.
Anyways, life is never perfect, I see most of people in india longing to come to US, there are people in the other side also but they are less and majority counts. So, immigrants win, natives loose.
Author is an immigrant, so dont expect fairness.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
State of Mind
I feel alive today, its a big deal for me. I feel that suddenly enormous amount of energy has been infused in me, and I am flying in the air of my beleief. I want to face the world, now. There is a fresh believe in me, that I can get whatever I want. I can do whatever I want. I dont want to waste it in doing something trivial.
Reason for this fresh flow of energy, may be because I had a good sleep in the noon. Or, I read some inspiring blogs yesterday. One of them is suze's blog. Or may be, the day to meet my people is nearing. Or may be, there is a good chance that one of my best friend will be with me next year. Life without friends can be realised only without them. Or, may be its raining again and it feels really fresh. Or, the hard days of semesters are nearly coming to end. Or may be I am listening to Bob Dylan's free flowing music. Lot of reasons, huh, any soul would be happy, so am I.
I wish this feeling stays for ever. I wish I am always alive. .......
Reason for this fresh flow of energy, may be because I had a good sleep in the noon. Or, I read some inspiring blogs yesterday. One of them is suze's blog. Or may be, the day to meet my people is nearing. Or may be, there is a good chance that one of my best friend will be with me next year. Life without friends can be realised only without them. Or, may be its raining again and it feels really fresh. Or, the hard days of semesters are nearly coming to end. Or may be I am listening to Bob Dylan's free flowing music. Lot of reasons, huh, any soul would be happy, so am I.
I wish this feeling stays for ever. I wish I am always alive. .......
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
My favourite movies (not in the order)
1. Harold and kumar goto the white castle: Overflowing with laughter, also it reminds me of good old days of IIT when we bunch of friends used to have g****.
2. Good Will Hunting: Amazing pholosophy, Eye opener in terms of philosophy of life.
3. Basic Instinct: Even a celibate man would give up after seeing sharon stone in this movie.
4. Satya: One of the most realistic portrayel of underworld gang wars and their true story.
5. Dil Se: One of the most intense love story I have seen.
6. Gandhi: I am a big fan of this guy for his conviction.
7. Forest Gump: Tom Hanks is too good and the subject no one can think about.
8. Black: Amazing acting by Big B (best so far) and co-stars. Sanjay Bhansali's work of life time.
9. Dil Chahta hai: Simply Bindaas.
10. God Father 1: Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, brilliant actors, awesome movie.
2. Good Will Hunting: Amazing pholosophy, Eye opener in terms of philosophy of life.
3. Basic Instinct: Even a celibate man would give up after seeing sharon stone in this movie.
4. Satya: One of the most realistic portrayel of underworld gang wars and their true story.
5. Dil Se: One of the most intense love story I have seen.
6. Gandhi: I am a big fan of this guy for his conviction.
7. Forest Gump: Tom Hanks is too good and the subject no one can think about.
8. Black: Amazing acting by Big B (best so far) and co-stars. Sanjay Bhansali's work of life time.
9. Dil Chahta hai: Simply Bindaas.
10. God Father 1: Al Pacino, Marlon Brando, brilliant actors, awesome movie.
Appeal
Hi Readers, I dont know who else (besides me) belongs to the set of readers, but if you are reading this blog, then do find time to post some comments. I tell you that not doing this is really rude, I need your feedback as any artist :D does.
I see that my profile views are 94 and I dont see even a single comment.
If you find any article pain in ass to read, then write it, if you find any idea faulty, condemn it but just write something. No praises are welcome, I know how good I am but what I dont know are my faults, so only criticism is welcome.
Thanks
Anupam
I see that my profile views are 94 and I dont see even a single comment.
If you find any article pain in ass to read, then write it, if you find any idea faulty, condemn it but just write something. No praises are welcome, I know how good I am but what I dont know are my faults, so only criticism is welcome.
Thanks
Anupam
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
How to waste time during graduate life
This post is dedicated to all those who are embarking on the journey of graduate studies in US. Even though, I have seen three months of graduate life, I think that I have cracked it in the sense that I know how to have fun in graduate life and do
not bad in academics. If you follow this, fun is guaranteed but nothing else.
1. First of all, make a phoren girl friend so that at least you are guaranteed of something in your life ;-) and it is wise to have something than nothing. And believe me, last thing you would like to ensure are your grades, because they dont matter that much in life, what matters is fun.
2. Try to learn something some skilled sport or music instrument or do something else which you really like. This is the last time in your life when you will be that free so this is the best time to invest time in something which is time consuming. And once you know something, you can enjoy whenever you want.
3. Read, Write blogs, you will come to know you are not the only soul on earth who is so free.
4. Keep looking for employment opportunities, or what you would like to do when you graduate.
5. Party, rest of the time.
not bad in academics. If you follow this, fun is guaranteed but nothing else.
1. First of all, make a phoren girl friend so that at least you are guaranteed of something in your life ;-) and it is wise to have something than nothing. And believe me, last thing you would like to ensure are your grades, because they dont matter that much in life, what matters is fun.
2. Try to learn something some skilled sport or music instrument or do something else which you really like. This is the last time in your life when you will be that free so this is the best time to invest time in something which is time consuming. And once you know something, you can enjoy whenever you want.
3. Read, Write blogs, you will come to know you are not the only soul on earth who is so free.
4. Keep looking for employment opportunities, or what you would like to do when you graduate.
5. Party, rest of the time.
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Lonliness
It has been three full months of lonliness. It is not that bad as it sounds. But it is now getting into me and be a part of me. Now, even when I am in a group, I feel lonely. I feel like there is a shell around me which doesnt lets me socialize. I have become anti-social now. I dont know where will it end, and I dont even want to contemplate on that.
Effects of lonliness: You become self sufficient, in a way a strong individual. But its not fun , even though it sounds good. Some examples of self sufficiency: You play two player games like racket ball, by yourself. You start talking to yourself and lot of similar stuff. According to some people these are signs of insanity, but I dont know whether technically they are or not.
There is fun part to lonliness also. It gives you more time than you ever had. If you organize yourself well, you can do bunch of things, for which you dont need people around and they are fun, like writing an article like this. Doing the things, you always wanted but didnt have time. But, for all these things you have to be organized because if you are not, it is very likely depression will take over you. Reason being, life is never perfect and most of the people tend to be pessimistic. So, the key is to organize yourself, find some interesting things and pursue them.
Music was always a special friend of mine, but now it is my only friend. These are not my words but I have felt them close to my heart. Lot of songs which were just songs to me before are now my bread and butter. I am changing, and am liking it.
Lonliness affects the person. Now it is upto the individual how to act. There are only two paths, there is no middle path. It is essentially binary. To support it, US society is the most prominent society. Its essential nature of being individualistic, creates people who can be broadly categorised into two: maniacs or absolutely wise. There are living/dead and famous examples of this, which I dont want to quote here.
Infact, I would go ahead and say that, it is mandatory to be alone in order to be wise. Sometimes, I feel that now I can imagine things what I couldnt have before.
The more time you spend with yourself, the more you understand yourself and things around. Infact, you tend to develop an uncanny ability to analyze everything, which might bug you at times because it is not required but neverthless, it has its own benefits. The most prominent advantage is your reasoning power shoots up.
All said and done, currently, I am dying to be with my people in December. This means how badly I want it to end. Because, there is no greater joy than to be with the people you really love. This is another thing lonliness teaches you.
Effects of lonliness: You become self sufficient, in a way a strong individual. But its not fun , even though it sounds good. Some examples of self sufficiency: You play two player games like racket ball, by yourself. You start talking to yourself and lot of similar stuff. According to some people these are signs of insanity, but I dont know whether technically they are or not.
There is fun part to lonliness also. It gives you more time than you ever had. If you organize yourself well, you can do bunch of things, for which you dont need people around and they are fun, like writing an article like this. Doing the things, you always wanted but didnt have time. But, for all these things you have to be organized because if you are not, it is very likely depression will take over you. Reason being, life is never perfect and most of the people tend to be pessimistic. So, the key is to organize yourself, find some interesting things and pursue them.
Music was always a special friend of mine, but now it is my only friend. These are not my words but I have felt them close to my heart. Lot of songs which were just songs to me before are now my bread and butter. I am changing, and am liking it.
Lonliness affects the person. Now it is upto the individual how to act. There are only two paths, there is no middle path. It is essentially binary. To support it, US society is the most prominent society. Its essential nature of being individualistic, creates people who can be broadly categorised into two: maniacs or absolutely wise. There are living/dead and famous examples of this, which I dont want to quote here.
Infact, I would go ahead and say that, it is mandatory to be alone in order to be wise. Sometimes, I feel that now I can imagine things what I couldnt have before.
The more time you spend with yourself, the more you understand yourself and things around. Infact, you tend to develop an uncanny ability to analyze everything, which might bug you at times because it is not required but neverthless, it has its own benefits. The most prominent advantage is your reasoning power shoots up.
All said and done, currently, I am dying to be with my people in December. This means how badly I want it to end. Because, there is no greater joy than to be with the people you really love. This is another thing lonliness teaches you.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Before I die
I want to prove myself that I am not a selfish soul.
I want to serve the society around me and also not around me.
I want to feel true love and absolute vulnerablity.
I want to understand myself.
I want to uplift my morails so that I can manifest my real self.
I want to break all the shackles I have bounded myself with.
I want to understand the depth of my emotions.
I want to create something which does not dies with me.
I want to attain NIRVANA.
I want to submit myself against god.
Now, these are the things I want now:
I want to have the best orgasm every night till I die.
I want to win a billion dollar lottery so that problem of money is taken care of.
I want to own a fancy car and a big beach view house in california
I want to spend a night with demi moore, I bet she will want more.
I want to date every girl I like. And then ..
I want to open a startup which can surpass google's stock price, nerds wish this.
I want all the luxuries at my fingertips.
I want the best/oldest wines of france right here
I want to kick everyone's ass who has kicked mine in past.
I want to ..
I want to serve the society around me and also not around me.
I want to feel true love and absolute vulnerablity.
I want to understand myself.
I want to uplift my morails so that I can manifest my real self.
I want to break all the shackles I have bounded myself with.
I want to understand the depth of my emotions.
I want to create something which does not dies with me.
I want to attain NIRVANA.
I want to submit myself against god.
Now, these are the things I want now:
I want to have the best orgasm every night till I die.
I want to win a billion dollar lottery so that problem of money is taken care of.
I want to own a fancy car and a big beach view house in california
I want to spend a night with demi moore, I bet she will want more.
I want to date every girl I like. And then ..
I want to open a startup which can surpass google's stock price, nerds wish this.
I want all the luxuries at my fingertips.
I want the best/oldest wines of france right here
I want to kick everyone's ass who has kicked mine in past.
I want to ..
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Good Will Hunting .. not a critic review
But a fanatic review. Clearly the best movie I have so far. I just loved the philosophy, the movie gives out. "Life is not about winning any medal or achieving any feet, but to feel happy in whatever you are doing." I have seen it n times and still the last time I saw it, I was totally engrossed by the movie.
Life is not about goals it is about feeling truly happy when you are pursuing them intently or preferably unintentially. Life is about emotions, happiness, contentment which seem to be trivial when we have them. I did not know that life is that simple, but realising it makes it really easy.
Sean's character displays 100% wisdom, I wish to have it sometimes in future. He goes on to give his views on life in general. The first time I saw the movie, it was as if another universe has been unraveled in front of my eyes and I am just awed, it was looking the life as real. It is really ironical that I have lived almost one third of my life and have been oblivious of the real pleasures. I realised that life is as lucid as anything can be since everything has a clearly defined purpose. And it is our skewed rationality and lust, which messes things up.
And it is not easy to enjoy whatever you are doing, so you have to do what you enjoy. This makes decisions so simple, just follow your heart and give your shot. And this is what matters, how good your shot was, did you feel good after doing it ?
There is an arrogant professor also who symbolises us, how we are working hard to get acclaims in various forms without thinking whether we really need them or may be want them. The conversations between the professor and Sean are particularly interesting.
Then there is the protaganist Will, who is a genius and arrogant chap. But, its interesting how Sean shows him how shallow his life and then how he opens up. All the fundas are given out in their conversations.
A life turner movie !!
Life is not about goals it is about feeling truly happy when you are pursuing them intently or preferably unintentially. Life is about emotions, happiness, contentment which seem to be trivial when we have them. I did not know that life is that simple, but realising it makes it really easy.
Sean's character displays 100% wisdom, I wish to have it sometimes in future. He goes on to give his views on life in general. The first time I saw the movie, it was as if another universe has been unraveled in front of my eyes and I am just awed, it was looking the life as real. It is really ironical that I have lived almost one third of my life and have been oblivious of the real pleasures. I realised that life is as lucid as anything can be since everything has a clearly defined purpose. And it is our skewed rationality and lust, which messes things up.
And it is not easy to enjoy whatever you are doing, so you have to do what you enjoy. This makes decisions so simple, just follow your heart and give your shot. And this is what matters, how good your shot was, did you feel good after doing it ?
There is an arrogant professor also who symbolises us, how we are working hard to get acclaims in various forms without thinking whether we really need them or may be want them. The conversations between the professor and Sean are particularly interesting.
Then there is the protaganist Will, who is a genius and arrogant chap. But, its interesting how Sean shows him how shallow his life and then how he opens up. All the fundas are given out in their conversations.
A life turner movie !!
Sunday, December 04, 2005
Free Zone ?
Chronologically, this should have been the first post. but wotever, the real idea of this space is now becoming clear and it would evolve over time.
Let me arrange the article as question and answer session, that way it becomes easier to write without going off the topic.
Q1. What is Free Zone ?
Ans. This is my effort to create a space without any prejudices, any kind of force, neutral, rational environment. To lucidify it, imagine a region in space which does not experience gravitational pull or any other kind of force. In that region, you can reach wherever you want, you can design whatever you can dream of, or in other words everyone is all powerful. Compare that space to where we are living, i.e. on earth. We cant fly, we cant run for ever, we cant live for ever, most of us cant get what they want, but we keep running untill death stops us.
What I mean is from the day the child is born to the day he comes some what sensible, he has been riveted by so many chains that he cant see beyond them. And start running in the race of rivetting himself more and more. This is because the conditioning this world does is so permanent and seems to be so real, that the actual "real" becomes eclipsed.
Then what is actually "real" is, nobody can answer this for anyone. You have to follow your heart if you want to know this. By heart, I dont mean senses because senses are very superficial.
So, the free zone stands for absolute freedom of thought: free from all prejudices, free from all the rivets this world has given us and hence it stands for absolute rationality.
Why free zone?
Because, I wish therefore. lol .... Or may be I have lot of time to spare and nothing more interesting to do. Plus, it helps to clear my mind and improve my writing skills. Better reason for this, even though I dont aim that is if it helps anyone or starts a debate, that would be interesting.
Plus, I find myself an average performer and if I can lift myself and be in a free zone then that would be wonderful. I am sure it exists because I see people who are in it.
How ?
By discussions, by thoughts, am not sure what to write here. I am still in experimental mode, so when I will have something, I will come back here.
Let me arrange the article as question and answer session, that way it becomes easier to write without going off the topic.
Q1. What is Free Zone ?
Ans. This is my effort to create a space without any prejudices, any kind of force, neutral, rational environment. To lucidify it, imagine a region in space which does not experience gravitational pull or any other kind of force. In that region, you can reach wherever you want, you can design whatever you can dream of, or in other words everyone is all powerful. Compare that space to where we are living, i.e. on earth. We cant fly, we cant run for ever, we cant live for ever, most of us cant get what they want, but we keep running untill death stops us.
What I mean is from the day the child is born to the day he comes some what sensible, he has been riveted by so many chains that he cant see beyond them. And start running in the race of rivetting himself more and more. This is because the conditioning this world does is so permanent and seems to be so real, that the actual "real" becomes eclipsed.
Then what is actually "real" is, nobody can answer this for anyone. You have to follow your heart if you want to know this. By heart, I dont mean senses because senses are very superficial.
So, the free zone stands for absolute freedom of thought: free from all prejudices, free from all the rivets this world has given us and hence it stands for absolute rationality.
Why free zone?
Because, I wish therefore. lol .... Or may be I have lot of time to spare and nothing more interesting to do. Plus, it helps to clear my mind and improve my writing skills. Better reason for this, even though I dont aim that is if it helps anyone or starts a debate, that would be interesting.
Plus, I find myself an average performer and if I can lift myself and be in a free zone then that would be wonderful. I am sure it exists because I see people who are in it.
How ?
By discussions, by thoughts, am not sure what to write here. I am still in experimental mode, so when I will have something, I will come back here.
PhD or not ?
This question is haunting me for the past couple of years. When I was completing my bachelors, I was pretty sure that I dont have to do it since I was majoring in Computer Science (CS) and doing a Phd would have meant sticking to this field for all my life. It was like marrying CS in the indian style i.e. no divorce possible. This thought was scary because I didnt think I belonged to CS that much. Dont ask me then, why did I major in CS then, because in india you follow the herd, and thats what I did. But at all places herd mentality doesnt works, so here I am pretty much confused of what to do in my life.
I can choose to have a life of economic prosperity in US, but if do it I will loose my self, I will loose my goals. Unfortunately, I dont what are my goals? I wish I had some. I can easily chose to do a Phd and after that devote myself to research. But, I dont see this happening. Several reasons are accountable for this, first I dont think I have the perseverance required for research. Second, academic position which is a dream place for most researchers, is not fascinating for me. Third, I dont want to do research in most of the subjects I have studied in last years, rather I find other subjects which I have not studied more interesting. I have speculations regarding my commitment. If I didnt like something I studied, it maght be true that I wont like the other subjects once I study them. Who knows ?
The reason is I dont know myself. I just confessed something which I always feared to do. I wish it was untrue.
But, I see that the professors in places like harvard are people who are more capable than most of the CEOs and it is the latter ones who frequently goto the prior ones for consultation. They are like sun revering in their aura, wow I wish I could become like them sometimes in my life. Hopeless hopes, I know. All of these guys have one thing in common, they had a special interest and they wanted to delve deeper into it. Unfortunately, I dont have any.
These are the reasons why I dont want to do a PhD. But, I admire some of the PhDs that I am forced to think again and try to find a reason for doing a PhD. PhD is your original contribution to the body of knowledge. No matter how small it is, it is something you have created and the pleasure you would get in it is far more than any material pleasure. And it would be really worth it. But then it is a long commitment, a commitment of life time. And unless you really love doing research, you wont be able to sustain the rigor research entails.
All said and done, it seems that I am not fit for a phd. I hope this is the last time I am debating on this issue. I am a petty individual who I guess has not many options but to go for earning money and be satisfied with lesser self.
I can choose to have a life of economic prosperity in US, but if do it I will loose my self, I will loose my goals. Unfortunately, I dont what are my goals? I wish I had some. I can easily chose to do a Phd and after that devote myself to research. But, I dont see this happening. Several reasons are accountable for this, first I dont think I have the perseverance required for research. Second, academic position which is a dream place for most researchers, is not fascinating for me. Third, I dont want to do research in most of the subjects I have studied in last years, rather I find other subjects which I have not studied more interesting. I have speculations regarding my commitment. If I didnt like something I studied, it maght be true that I wont like the other subjects once I study them. Who knows ?
The reason is I dont know myself. I just confessed something which I always feared to do. I wish it was untrue.
But, I see that the professors in places like harvard are people who are more capable than most of the CEOs and it is the latter ones who frequently goto the prior ones for consultation. They are like sun revering in their aura, wow I wish I could become like them sometimes in my life. Hopeless hopes, I know. All of these guys have one thing in common, they had a special interest and they wanted to delve deeper into it. Unfortunately, I dont have any.
These are the reasons why I dont want to do a PhD. But, I admire some of the PhDs that I am forced to think again and try to find a reason for doing a PhD. PhD is your original contribution to the body of knowledge. No matter how small it is, it is something you have created and the pleasure you would get in it is far more than any material pleasure. And it would be really worth it. But then it is a long commitment, a commitment of life time. And unless you really love doing research, you wont be able to sustain the rigor research entails.
All said and done, it seems that I am not fit for a phd. I hope this is the last time I am debating on this issue. I am a petty individual who I guess has not many options but to go for earning money and be satisfied with lesser self.
Monday, November 28, 2005
How good is Tit for Tat ?
I have had a lot of attitude problems with many people. So, I write this article as a guideline for myself and if it helps anyone, its certainly cool. Generally we deal differently with different people depending on how other people behave with us. Its like tit for tat, I am going to look into how good is "tit for tat" and more importantly how easy it is to implement it. I am particularly interested in how it is relevant in our daily life.
I dont know for sure how good is it? but I am pretty sure that it is not easy to implement it. And even if you do it, it can have serious affect on your personality. The reason that it is difficult to implement is that you meet so many people and if you moderate your attitude for each of them, then it is really a cumbersome task to do it. Its like updating a table in your brain which remember rules how do you behave. for instance: If situation A -> do something, so on and so forth. This table be exponentially big, hence it is not a good idea to have it. Wont it be great if there is only small set of rules, which describe your behavior. And there should not be any additions to it. Because right and wrong are clearly defined, there is nothing called grey, either it is black or white. All these things have been discussed in length in different religions. I dont want to discuss it here because I will be deviating then. So, if we do some study, it is not hard to have such rules. And they are really simple and I suppose they make life really blissful.
Second big disadvantage of this policy is that it harms your individuality seriously. Its because whatever you are is as a result of how other people have treated you, its like each and everyone person you have met, has dented you and as a result your self has become so disfigured that it is really hard to imagine its real shape. And it is really disgracing to me sometimes why "I" should be the person "they" want me to be, it is a call to be rebillious and not a slave. It is a call to identify your self and stand by it, rather than decieving it. It is never late, but earlier it is better it is.
History gives example of this hypothesis, that some of the people who have influenced the world were the people of strong conviction, which means belief in your ideas which demands strong individuality. First name which comes to my mind is: Gandhi. He was strictly against "Tit for Tat", he said "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind". It is very easy to disregard his policy of non-violence as a policy of cowards, but ironically it requires great strength to follow it.
Much said, I have to conclude now, because I have tonnes of other work. And I believe in working rather than preaching, but keep checking I will write more because bad habits die hard. It is alright if this article sounds like impractical because it is since it is difficult to be strong.
Have fun
I dont know for sure how good is it? but I am pretty sure that it is not easy to implement it. And even if you do it, it can have serious affect on your personality. The reason that it is difficult to implement is that you meet so many people and if you moderate your attitude for each of them, then it is really a cumbersome task to do it. Its like updating a table in your brain which remember rules how do you behave. for instance: If situation A -> do something, so on and so forth. This table be exponentially big, hence it is not a good idea to have it. Wont it be great if there is only small set of rules, which describe your behavior. And there should not be any additions to it. Because right and wrong are clearly defined, there is nothing called grey, either it is black or white. All these things have been discussed in length in different religions. I dont want to discuss it here because I will be deviating then. So, if we do some study, it is not hard to have such rules. And they are really simple and I suppose they make life really blissful.
Second big disadvantage of this policy is that it harms your individuality seriously. Its because whatever you are is as a result of how other people have treated you, its like each and everyone person you have met, has dented you and as a result your self has become so disfigured that it is really hard to imagine its real shape. And it is really disgracing to me sometimes why "I" should be the person "they" want me to be, it is a call to be rebillious and not a slave. It is a call to identify your self and stand by it, rather than decieving it. It is never late, but earlier it is better it is.
History gives example of this hypothesis, that some of the people who have influenced the world were the people of strong conviction, which means belief in your ideas which demands strong individuality. First name which comes to my mind is: Gandhi. He was strictly against "Tit for Tat", he said "An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind". It is very easy to disregard his policy of non-violence as a policy of cowards, but ironically it requires great strength to follow it.
Much said, I have to conclude now, because I have tonnes of other work. And I believe in working rather than preaching, but keep checking I will write more because bad habits die hard. It is alright if this article sounds like impractical because it is since it is difficult to be strong.
Have fun
Friday, November 25, 2005
Are Humans supposed to be perfect ?
This is a question, which is puzzling ever since I have landed here. I dont know whether humans and perfection is an all together on the diagonally opposite ends. To clear the clouds, let me say what I mean by perfection.
By perfection, I mean that whatever you are being asked to do, do it in the exact same manner. No, matter what happens, the activity you are performing has to be done the way it is being told. This is how people in america are. They are amazingly perfect, and hence awfull not-humans. I dont have a term for it, but yes robotic is a term nearest to what I mean. What I mean is if inplace of them, we place the programmed robots, in all situations nothing will change.
It seems that there is a factoryline production where all americans are being produced. I mean no offece, but an honest opinion. I have couple of instances to illustrate my point. Last month, I was a part of the HALLOWEEN PARADE in NYC. It was cold and as a result, there was mounting pressure on me to find a rest room where I can get lighter. So, I went out of the parade to the side street in search of the unsearchable. After a while frustrated of not being able to find a mens room or a lone street, I thought of joining my buddies in the parade. But, from where I exited there was no entrance. Police didnt let me in, I pleaded that I am with a bunch of people who are in parade and since I am new in the city I will get lost if they didnt let me in. But, to my misfortune they were programmed, no exceptions unless there is a bug. But they are very well programmed, programmer perfectly, almost no chance of error or unexpected behavior. This was it, I finally managed to find Penn Station with the help of desis roaming there.
Another incident, last night I was coming back to my apartment by university bus. Owing to thanksgiving evening, this was the last bus and it was just 11 PM. I got down at last stop. I was with some friends outside and we were chatting since we knew there is nothing to do if go into our rooms. We saw couple of women coming and they ran when they saw the same bus which brought us here. Since this was the last stop, the bus was out of service now. These women had to go somewhere so they requested the driver to take them. I told my friend that even though this is the last bus and it is 11 in night, I am pretty sure this driver wont give the ladies the favour and the reason is he is not told to give it. And the same thing happened. I was not surprised.
And I can bet that no matter what happens, an american will not break rules. Because, rules are above all humans. Americans are not humans but follower or protectors of rules. There is no denying to the fact that adherance to rules has its own benefits and they are pretty much tangible, we can see an organised society in US.
Anyways, the question remains unanswered. So, what I mean is there is a distinct difference between humans and machines. Machines are supposed to be perfect not humans. Humans are supposed to be humans. I mean human values should not sacrificed in order to achieve perfection. Humans make things which are perfect so they are superior and this is their role and let the role of being perfect leave it to machines. Osho has said, "Be the power which drives computer and not computer." I think this is the essence of whole article.
By perfection, I mean that whatever you are being asked to do, do it in the exact same manner. No, matter what happens, the activity you are performing has to be done the way it is being told. This is how people in america are. They are amazingly perfect, and hence awfull not-humans. I dont have a term for it, but yes robotic is a term nearest to what I mean. What I mean is if inplace of them, we place the programmed robots, in all situations nothing will change.
It seems that there is a factoryline production where all americans are being produced. I mean no offece, but an honest opinion. I have couple of instances to illustrate my point. Last month, I was a part of the HALLOWEEN PARADE in NYC. It was cold and as a result, there was mounting pressure on me to find a rest room where I can get lighter. So, I went out of the parade to the side street in search of the unsearchable. After a while frustrated of not being able to find a mens room or a lone street, I thought of joining my buddies in the parade. But, from where I exited there was no entrance. Police didnt let me in, I pleaded that I am with a bunch of people who are in parade and since I am new in the city I will get lost if they didnt let me in. But, to my misfortune they were programmed, no exceptions unless there is a bug. But they are very well programmed, programmer perfectly, almost no chance of error or unexpected behavior. This was it, I finally managed to find Penn Station with the help of desis roaming there.
Another incident, last night I was coming back to my apartment by university bus. Owing to thanksgiving evening, this was the last bus and it was just 11 PM. I got down at last stop. I was with some friends outside and we were chatting since we knew there is nothing to do if go into our rooms. We saw couple of women coming and they ran when they saw the same bus which brought us here. Since this was the last stop, the bus was out of service now. These women had to go somewhere so they requested the driver to take them. I told my friend that even though this is the last bus and it is 11 in night, I am pretty sure this driver wont give the ladies the favour and the reason is he is not told to give it. And the same thing happened. I was not surprised.
And I can bet that no matter what happens, an american will not break rules. Because, rules are above all humans. Americans are not humans but follower or protectors of rules. There is no denying to the fact that adherance to rules has its own benefits and they are pretty much tangible, we can see an organised society in US.
Anyways, the question remains unanswered. So, what I mean is there is a distinct difference between humans and machines. Machines are supposed to be perfect not humans. Humans are supposed to be humans. I mean human values should not sacrificed in order to achieve perfection. Humans make things which are perfect so they are superior and this is their role and let the role of being perfect leave it to machines. Osho has said, "Be the power which drives computer and not computer." I think this is the essence of whole article.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
American Experience
"Land of Freedom" thats what they call it, yes it is from a perspective. You have freedom, you feel it in the sense that you can really drive your life wherever you want. This is the reason so many smart people from across the world come here to change their destiny. And thats why I am here.
So, as a student I feel free to take whatever courses I want to take. It doesnt matters I have come as a Computer Science major, I can pass out as a greek history major. The professors I have come across are really masters of universe. The classes are interesting and after them I feel completely taken over by the subject. This is the joy of learning, unfortunately I did not get it back in India, even though I did my undergrad from a reputed college. There are options here, I can study whatever I want but back home it was they who decided what I should study. Even though many students feel lot of options make you even more confused but this is not a sufficient reason to not have options.
Even in professional world here, things are very flexible you can take up the task what you find interesting. This is what makes "America" the land of freedom. If you are ambitious about your life, you want to make a change, you feel strangled in your country, then it is a place to be in. Plus, you would find lot of people like you from across the world and this makes the life pretty interesting. Also, there many skilled professors who can guide you in many ways. So, all in all it is a perfect place to achieve your professional goals, which are very important for many individuals.
The reason that america is powerful is it lays extreme importance on individuality so that each american can be a very strong individual. But since individuality has its own shortcomings, american society also cant get rid of them. People are lonely here, the feeling of belonging to a society is not there. Its like every individual is a society in itself and it ends here. The thing which americans treasure most is their own "space". This is the last thing they will sacrifice. I think this is the reason that lot of people in america prefer to be single and hence, lonely. Being from a society where social values are given great importance, I have always viewed life as mixture of professional and personal part. And each part has a strong influence on the other so in order to have a good or satisfying life, one has to make efforts to do well at both fronts. Its not about just performing, its about feeling joy when performing, no matter how well you do.
Joy, is something I value very high. I am pretty sure if I ask a marathon runner, what he likes most, he would say running and running. The joy of running is much higher than winning because the prior is the one you feel it and the latter is the one others make you feel it. And I leave it to the readers descretion that which one is better but I am pretty clear in my judgement. Similarly, my dear friend, life is like a marathon and it really doesnt matters what frontiers you cross while racing but what is important are you having fun or not ? Always remember, whatever material you achieve or can achieve is not worth yourself.
Coming back to american society, I wish it was little more cosy, warm. I have talked to people in america and they are friendly but I cant mistake to call them my friends because the "space" always exists. I dont know it is good or bad, they are best to decide it, but I see a lot of void in their life which I think can be filled with love and warmth. But then they may not remain that efficient because they will be hung up on relations and that would affect work. But as another of my article says, humans should remain humans and not try to become as "efficient" as machines.
I see that life has lot of sorrows which come naturally, so since we cannot avoid them we can atleast try to fill our life with different colours of emotions. But, being human is not being american so i think I am questioning the basics on which this society stands and it is your individual achievements, power and grandeur.
So, as a student I feel free to take whatever courses I want to take. It doesnt matters I have come as a Computer Science major, I can pass out as a greek history major. The professors I have come across are really masters of universe. The classes are interesting and after them I feel completely taken over by the subject. This is the joy of learning, unfortunately I did not get it back in India, even though I did my undergrad from a reputed college. There are options here, I can study whatever I want but back home it was they who decided what I should study. Even though many students feel lot of options make you even more confused but this is not a sufficient reason to not have options.
Even in professional world here, things are very flexible you can take up the task what you find interesting. This is what makes "America" the land of freedom. If you are ambitious about your life, you want to make a change, you feel strangled in your country, then it is a place to be in. Plus, you would find lot of people like you from across the world and this makes the life pretty interesting. Also, there many skilled professors who can guide you in many ways. So, all in all it is a perfect place to achieve your professional goals, which are very important for many individuals.
The reason that america is powerful is it lays extreme importance on individuality so that each american can be a very strong individual. But since individuality has its own shortcomings, american society also cant get rid of them. People are lonely here, the feeling of belonging to a society is not there. Its like every individual is a society in itself and it ends here. The thing which americans treasure most is their own "space". This is the last thing they will sacrifice. I think this is the reason that lot of people in america prefer to be single and hence, lonely. Being from a society where social values are given great importance, I have always viewed life as mixture of professional and personal part. And each part has a strong influence on the other so in order to have a good or satisfying life, one has to make efforts to do well at both fronts. Its not about just performing, its about feeling joy when performing, no matter how well you do.
Joy, is something I value very high. I am pretty sure if I ask a marathon runner, what he likes most, he would say running and running. The joy of running is much higher than winning because the prior is the one you feel it and the latter is the one others make you feel it. And I leave it to the readers descretion that which one is better but I am pretty clear in my judgement. Similarly, my dear friend, life is like a marathon and it really doesnt matters what frontiers you cross while racing but what is important are you having fun or not ? Always remember, whatever material you achieve or can achieve is not worth yourself.
Coming back to american society, I wish it was little more cosy, warm. I have talked to people in america and they are friendly but I cant mistake to call them my friends because the "space" always exists. I dont know it is good or bad, they are best to decide it, but I see a lot of void in their life which I think can be filled with love and warmth. But then they may not remain that efficient because they will be hung up on relations and that would affect work. But as another of my article says, humans should remain humans and not try to become as "efficient" as machines.
I see that life has lot of sorrows which come naturally, so since we cannot avoid them we can atleast try to fill our life with different colours of emotions. But, being human is not being american so i think I am questioning the basics on which this society stands and it is your individual achievements, power and grandeur.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Introdution
Hi,
Welcome, to the freeZone, I would post my thoughts here. My research area these days is individualism Vs groupism, rationality, destiny, happiness Vs success. I am interested in philosophy, it can be in various forms: music, spirituality, litrature. No, I am not a philosophy major, believe it or not am a Computer Science graduate student but the philosopher inside is more active sometimes. Graduate Students are usually busy so am I, but I will definitely write more. Any Comments are welcome !!
Another thing which fascinates me is the struggle of Art Vs Science. While the prior enlightens your soul, the latter is responsible for all the tangible progress humans have made. But which is superior, I dont know about this but yes Art is more fundamental and pristine, but then there have been people like Da Vinci, who were extraordinary artists, philosophers and their work have a strong scientific flavour. So, I would like to take my earlier statement back and for the time being leave this issue as it is.
cheers
anupam
Welcome, to the freeZone, I would post my thoughts here. My research area these days is individualism Vs groupism, rationality, destiny, happiness Vs success. I am interested in philosophy, it can be in various forms: music, spirituality, litrature. No, I am not a philosophy major, believe it or not am a Computer Science graduate student but the philosopher inside is more active sometimes. Graduate Students are usually busy so am I, but I will definitely write more. Any Comments are welcome !!
Another thing which fascinates me is the struggle of Art Vs Science. While the prior enlightens your soul, the latter is responsible for all the tangible progress humans have made. But which is superior, I dont know about this but yes Art is more fundamental and pristine, but then there have been people like Da Vinci, who were extraordinary artists, philosophers and their work have a strong scientific flavour. So, I would like to take my earlier statement back and for the time being leave this issue as it is.
cheers
anupam
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