why am I single

1. I was brought up in a way and with a belief that girls are the alien creatures on this earth (my ma and my grand ma were the only two women, whom I had talked in my childhood.).

2. When I was in primary school, there were separate rows where girls and boys sit, it confirmed the belief within me.

3. When I was in high school, I chose engineering and I had 1 gal in the class of 33 boys. That was an overwhelming experience, it cemented the earlier belief and created a new belief that women probably dont exist in the direction of life I like.

4. The later thought was firmed when I went to college, where I found 7 gals in a batch of 133 boys. And I am doing a really great favour by calling them gals, my friends used to call them non-males, uncle etc.

5. I joined a place to work, and the ratio was still the same. Plus, its not recommended to flirt at your work place, forget it whom am I kidding, as if I am an expert at flirting. So, in short, another year passed just like that.

6. By, the time I landed in the land of opportunities, I had become UNFIT for dating. I didnt had a chance to get trained in
talking silly things,
lieing,
smiling uselessly,
be a good listener to most trivial things,
sometimes behave servantile,

all the things a typical girl enjoys. Instead I have become quite forthright, uncapable of formal talk. I cant pretend of interest for the sake of sex. My behavior has become a result of my thought process, I have lost that power to manipulatation, and sometimes I miss it.

And now I want to pat myself for writing another honest post.

orgasms ?

A friend of mine once said, "orgasms display the emptiness of our life". It is indeed true, since only few moments are really blissful, and rest of our life is empty. And,
we keep trying to fill it up joys and sorrows. The interesting part is that the orgasmic moments are only few, or quite few and rest of the life is too long to live. So, orgasms are a stark and harsh reality of our painful life in an ironical sense.

I believe orgasm is the greatest discovery made by man (or a woman), since we cant live without it. And it is not as trivial as breathing, so it is a discovery and something indispensable, for sure. It gives us an indication, that how much bliss remains unexplored by us, and with a little effort in a direction, we can have it.

But, for most of us, orgasm is limited within those few moments. I think it is a clue to reach the state of bliss, where the orgasmic feeling can last for longer time, or lets hope forever. I am sure, there is something is like that, because that is what the purpose of our life is to explore and find out the divine, the blissful, the all pervasive, the ONE.

Believer

Why should I believe in God,
when I am responsible for my own destiny
when there is so much cruelty in the world
when Lie wins and Truth loses.
when all my pleasures are driven by materials
when I know, I have faced unluck throughout my life
when I am not afraid of anything
when I dont want to believe in something I dont see
when religion is the sole cause of so many wars, deaths and destruction
when religion takes my freedom away, which I value most
when religion seems just fictional and nothing else.
when I havent seen any magic of god with my eyes.

Still I choose to believe in god,
because I believe there is little goodness in the world, which is the glue for civilization.
because it is the only path of peace and only way to get out of the unrest of human mind.
because it gives infinite confidence, power and conviction.
because it soothes the soul
because it makes me feel secure, nothing can scath me.
because even after lot of inequalities, there is a balance in the world, everything is perfect.
because it restores humility
because I can feel it sometimes, in art, in emotions, in people, in joys, in sorrows.
because I feel the difference in me when I believe in it.
because it gives me immense joy
because it makes me listen to my heart, to my soul.
because it makes me more like a woman
because it gives me the hope to live and wait for the big moment.

Why did you do it, BBC ?

Why did you uncover indian men, like this: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/6161691.stm

Ghar ki Izzat ghar mein rahti to acha tha, now everyone knows it. Can you believe it, everyone. The non-indians you hang out with, the firang girl you were trying to hit on. Get ready, to become an object of pity.

Now, I will feel awkward to enter into bars and get pathetic looks. Never fast with strange women, now the little confidence is also crushed. After all, there is no surprise left, as soon they gonna know he is indian, they will scroll down and ... and laugh like bitches.

..... to be continued with the reactions I get from people.

a love story

there was a girl, normal girl. Not a princess, not even rich. But was pretty, was blessed. she didnt know about it, she always thought shes cursed. cause she had pimples on one of her cheek. and she didnt have money to buy those expensive medicines.

there was a guy, quite similar to me, but not me. he was a child, from within. he always thought he is blessed, cause everyone around him loved him obsessively. but he loved this girl. he had a wish, simple but he didnt want to die before doing it.
he wanted to kiss her, since he was 3.

the day came when there eyes met, and rest of the story is quite known in history. he kissed her that night. the next morning, the princess woke up and her pimples were gone, she was elated. she turned around to tell the guy, but she was shocked in horror to see him.

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