my friend

I love you more than thou
You are part of me now and ever
But, do not test me
its not that I love you not
but I fear
that I am too weak
to stand by my soul

The Madman

Was jesus a mad man? He gave up every face and an easy death for a life full of pain. How long do you think you can carry with the masks you put on for different kind of people. Do you believe that this is going to work out one day? Are we lying to ourselves. When are we going to stop. Why do we need so much security?

Is being good and true worth enough for a painful existence. Who has knitted this web of lies and insecurities around me? I was born free and now I live as a slave.

Are we women enough to be strong and man enough to cry or we are pretending to be.

Is madness a virtue or a curse? how far are we ready to go? What kind of drivers we are when we are so afraid of the finish line. The soul is free and pure.

Confession of a Masochist

There was one masochist. At the end of his life he said he wants to die.

To Fall or not

I fell for her, and she stepped over me.

From then on, I decided not to fall any more, in future.

Now, I am tired of walking without falling.

Come again, even if you have to leave the next moment.

Feel Good

Feel good is usually associated with women because it is associated with feminine hormones. But, men these days are also quite feminine in this aspect specially the metro sexual ones. I guess it usually comes from what people around us think about us. So, doesn't this way of feel good is the manifestation of our insecurity about ourselves?

Cant we rise in our own eyes and have a better opinion about ourselves and as a result feel good about ourselves. After all, most of our activities like shopping, fine dining etc are aimed to achieve what we can achieve by nice thoughts, emotions, warmth yada yada yada.

Present, Past and Future

It all depends on your present. If you are not happy with it, you regret the past and do not long for the future. So, improve the present, make now blissful. This is Eureka!!

What do women want?

Uncertainty with Security
Adventure with Coziness
Lust with Love
Wildness with Calmness
Hardness followed by Softness
Bizarreness with Balance
Weirdness but not very much idiosyncrasy
Subtleness and not blatantness

Women are like life, none of the rule will work all the time.

The turn around

There was a boy from a small town in India. He was brought up in a conservative environment, so he didn't booze, ate meat and so was trying to preserve his purity. Then he met a friend and they became close friends. The other friend had modern values like he would do those things which the protagonist thought are forbidden. The friend convinced him to cross the line step by step and see what lies on the other side. The boy liked it and started enjoying it. One day he bought living chickens to the house and butchered them in front of his friend. Then when he served that chicken to his friend his refused to eat whereas the boy enjoyed it inside out.

Who is devil and who is pure?

Life as a Mirage

Perceptions, Hallucinations, Virtuality, Reality, who defines what is what and who is who?

Whenever I define myself, I discover a side which is not in the definition. However, there is always a difference in how I perceive myself and how others do. The perceptions give rise to biases like blacks do drugs, whites are greedy, Muslims are terrorists, I am an asshole, I have an attitude problem, yada yada yad.

Whenever we are meeting anyone, most of the time we are biased by what we have heard and learned. But, aren't these perceptions very superficial. Why doesn't we say Blacks love Jazz, they are straight from heart, lively and fun people. Why doesn't people say that Whites are the most disciplined people on earth and Muslims are the most spiritual.

Why does the negative perception dominates so much, where there is so much positivity. Why is the devil winning in our hearts? May be because of what we do in our day, what we eat and what we think. We are fueling the devil with whatever it needs: lust and greed of all forms.

So, who is in the question, Me, or you, or the guy you hate, or ...

Kite Photography

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/pop_ups/07/south_asia_india0_a_kite0s_eye_view/html/1.stm

A poem with rhymes

Lets run, in the wild sun
Lets play to make the hay of the day
Lets fight, not to test the might
Lets loose without taking booze
Lets cry in the midst of the sky
Lets try to fly
Lets smile without a guile
Lets speak to remove all the tweaks
Lets look inside the book
Lets feel the pain as if it is as natural as rain
--

Thanks for tolerating :D.

The weight

The weight of my own ambitions
The expectations of my own people
A short memory of the glorious past
And a cruel present
Everything is there in front of us
Our creation
the very ghost
is stealing every moment of our life

Save yourself
Stab the ghost
Liberate yourself
Be free!

No Name

Wild Spirits dancing like mad women
in the bodies of men and women
making us pay for the every moment of existence
Never letting us settle
Always making us unstable
May be they know our purpose of existence
To achieve something we cant perceive
To feel something which is more than orgasm and more than any pain
To take us to new frontiers
To realize us that all our limits are our own creation
To understand that there is one and only one soul
of this world which unites everything

Stop, choose something very bizarre and random and search withing while doing it. Liberation comes from activities of all kinds physical, mental and emotional.

No Name

Wild Spirits dancing like mad women
in the bodies of men and women
making us pay for the every moment of existence
Never letting us settle
Always making us unstable
May be they know our purpose of existence
To achieve something we cant perceive
To feel something which is more than orgasm and more than any pain
To take us to new frontiers
To realize us that all our limits are our own creation
To understand that there is one and only one soul
of this world which unites everything

Stop, choose something very bizarre and random and search withing while doing it. Liberation comes from activities of all kinds physical, mental and emotional.

being born again

Again feels like a new birth
like a new awakening
When I take a vow that I wont die again
But I fear like each time
I will loose the track of my breadth

--

I wish

I could say the unsaid words
I could realize the unrealized fantacies
I could do the undone activities
I hope my soul will be in peace then.

"Hazaaron khwaishein aisi
ki har khwaish pe dum nikle
Bahut nikle mere armaan
lekin phir bhi kam nikle"

- Mirza Ghalib

The moment!

The moment is all about living in it. It is also like a bubble which bursts to create space for the new one. Some bubbles are very nice and some are not so. The nicer ones are the ones which overlap a lot of other bubbles also and leave a smile on our face when they go. The not so nice ones are like their names and we try to burst them. But, they still appear again and again, specially when our times are not so good. They try to push us further down and choke us. But, then there are the nice ones which fight with the bad ones and help us come out.

Sometimes the bubbles from future come back to present and take its space. Then, we start longing about what we want from life and fear from our fears.

Then there is our Mind, which is more complicated than a woman, and hence I never understand it. But, I do listen to it sometimes. It tells us to see the current bubble and see the nothingness inside it and live in it.

Then there is Mother, who lets us face everything. She is the source of all courage and character in us. She tells us to listen to our heart, when in confusion.

Unchanging life

Feels like the first summer
when we were young and restless
when the horizons were filled with joys
when we used to dream
when we used to trust
when we used to please
when we did not like to compete
when we used to ask everything
and not assume anything
when we used to feel sad for poor and miserable
when we used to be afraid
afraid of ghosts and not humans
when we used love everyone, back

When we were we
and not them

--

Sometimes, you feel to rebel against the process of becoming more practical and acceptable.

Happy Swatantra Diwas

A salute to the unique soul of this nation which lives in one fifth of the whole of mankind.

No Wonder

I have lot of time these days, its not my fault.
I have no job and no girlfried, no problem!

People find me intricate and complex, thats how I am.

I freak people out, the devil inside me gets nasty sometimes.

I am in zen sometimes, cause I find the solitude bliss most of times.

I have no plans, I find myself to fit in something for long time not to be free.

I am sure of things, because subconsciously I know what I want.

I find peace in most chaotic situations, I dont know why?

A tribute to The Beautiful Game

I feel the same way I felt when I left India this time. I was leaving everyone I have lived with and everyone who lives in me. Today, again I am getting the same feeling on the thought that it is the last friday football game for me with the group I am playing since last 14 months.

Football has been a way for me to look good, to meditate, to convince myself that if you love something that much, you can become a part of it. My most fantacies for last two years have been dedicated for the game. Couple of times I have refused to hang out with women because of scheduled game during that time. My reason of being happy on my bday was that I scored a very nice goal that day, I thought of it as a gift to myself.

A warm thanks to all my beautiful friends.

Some moments:

?

A question we should ask ourselves, is it worth the price I am paying for it?

--

I guess it can answer a lot of questions and save us from a lot of unpleasant experiences.

Different colours, Different nationalities, One Love!

Fifth anniversary celebration of our football group at Mark's (the guy in yellow).

Thought of the day

Try very hard, try to give just a little short of your best, so that there is a room for improvement, always!

Hope

You are alone
Your work is stuck in the middle, from a while.
Your soulmates are not around
You are longing for recognition, which no one gives you
You are lost and disillusioned.
But, it drizzles with a nice breeze
And you put a soulful love song
And the hope comes back, again!

~love

Heart, Mind ?

Would you listen to your mind and always take the most calculated decision or instead listen to your heart and wont mind going for an exhilarating ride, no matter where it is going.

Or would you listen to your senses and instincts and be wild all the time.

It all depends on how do you perceive your life as, journey or destination. Is it a celebration in itself or a quest for our desires and ambitions. I think it is a wonderous journey which has no definite answers, no rights, no wrongs. Nothing is true and nothing is false, or as shakespeare puts it: "It is a stage, and we all are enacting our roles".

Sometimes, when I try to see life from an outsider's perspective, I find it is a painting where colours are sometimes harmonious and rest of time chaotic. Is harmony is the only thing we want? Is chaos too disturbing? Does chaos lead to harmony? Is chaos the necessary phase to reach harmony?

Then, are we moving in any direction, or our lives are just like sine waves. Going up and down without making us any more wiser.

Mother

She exists in the soul of the words, we speak.
She exists in the soul of the characters, when we write.
She can be found in the soul of the dance.
She exists in the soul of the rain drops, which fall, clouds which hover, sometimes ominous, sometimes blissfull.
She is beyond Good and Evil.
She is the Virgin (Mary) and she is the Witch.
She believes in only one rule, the rule of love.
She believes in letting go, rather than withholding.
She is the Woman, She is the God.

--

An inspired poem after reading "The Witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho.

syndrome of being vivering

Doing everything you can till the last moment, then you realise this is not what you want.

There is mess all around and inside.

Some people are giving directions, ironically they are themselves lost.

There is no one way, infact all roads are round abouts.

The mysteries are too many, and am running after them like a mad man.

Memories are disturbing and the future is uncertain.

Is there any cure?

Humanity Vs Plasticity

Spontaneity Vs Craftiness
Bliss Vs Happiness
Loneliness Vs Loss of self
Failure Vs Fear of Failure
Honesty Vs Acceptance
Alive Vs Dead
Security Vs Fear
Respect for life Vs Love for life
...

Choose your way!

song of devotion

You make me free
even though are not for free
You are my sweetheart
Please never break my heart
You dont bitch around
I always wish you are around

This is not a crush, but love
longest ever I have loved someone
I wish I could live with you, die with you.

You have given my life a purpose,
it is to be always around you.

You can have different taste
different ways to embrace
but to me, all ways seem the same.

promise me you would be around
no matter where I am on the ground.

Why would a woman love a man?

Is it because of what a man is in general?

or

How does that man treats that woman?

Both is not an option.

Bliss!

When you feel like dancing
When every inch of you is bubbling
When the time stops
When love has filled the air
When you can see into the eyes you want to look into
When you are surrounded by friends
When you are with people, who want to see you
Its Homecoming again and here I come with my arms wide open, the same smile and tears filled eyes.

Mood: Euphoric
Music: Euphoria, Indian Ocean.

your father is drunk
your mother is dating some other man
the girl you like is cold
your friends dont like you anymore
your art, no one understands

there is always a reason not to live.

--

ps: a part of this text is borrowed, dont remember from where.

a noble celebration

Life is a divine celebration of the seeing of our everlasting existence. It is to celebrated with divinity, charm, love and bliss. We have to think of our forefathers who has given us a heritage to be proud of, to look at and feel so small and yet so lucky.

How many times do we really express gratitude towards the art, beauty we enjoy everyday.

How many times do we wake up and promise that we will add our bit to this human heritage.

How many times do we wallow in joy, do we still remember what a joy is, or is it lost somewhere in our daily lives.

Has it happened ever that we have loved something or someone and say that I just want to see it and not possess it or may be want to share it.

Someone has to fill, since everyone is snatching.

We all have to physically die, that should not bother us. Lets share, spread bliss and smile in our toughest times. For a moment, lets feel as if we are free like our souls. Lets pick any road blindly knowning fully that all roads lead to thee. Lets dance, sing , La La La.

Lets not be greedy. No amount of material will make us happy, it will take our peace for sure.

A funny read.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/6587129.stm

enjoy.

contemplation

When I look back, I see an ignorant brat leading an incomplete life full of complacency and contempt.

A naked boy

He stands stripped
He looks unkempt
His arms are wide open
He sings
He smiles
He waits
He loves
He wants to spread happiness
He is not afraid to die
His eyes are shining
His smile charming
but he is not the prince perfect
He is weak
He is vulnerable
He cries
He repents on his past life, sometimes.
He fears the loss of god, so he lives on faith
He is impulsive
He is nervous
He wants to give it all he can
He wants to explore what all he has
He does not knows his goals, but he likes to score goals
He does not know himself, at all.

Gere kisses Shetty

It makes a news, such a big one that it is on the front page of all newspapers and tv channels. His effigies are being burned and Shetty is being cursed.

On the other hand, lot of women at brothels are still having forced and unprotected sex. But, that does not tarnishes Indian culture, which we boast of so much.

It looks like if it is within the four walls, all kinds of moral or immoral sex is OK, but do not do anything in public. What a SHAME.

The best goal of my football career

In pic: Gabe Vs I, rest are laughing. Thanks Melody, for taking a nice pic.

The art of Liquification

I feel like a fluid, put me in any bottle you choose, I will be the one you want. I think we are supposed to be fluidish, so that we can be what we want to be and that too without making an effort. The reason we are not is that we are stiff most of the times. But, we should remember after all we are actors and we have to play different characters different times of our life. Therefore, lets not define ourselves because then we are making an effort to be solid. And we are supposed to be so.

Good actors in cinema are like this, they can act any role. So can we in this world of cinema. And all of us want to play our roles well, which are quite contrasting and occur in different phases of our lives. It is a spiritual idea because god is all and if we can be all, then we are close to god also.

Life is full of problems, easy rides, critical times and if we can develop our senses well, then it is easy to act the way we always want to be. To have senses develop, we have to be in that moment, not before not after. It wont matter whether we win or loss, because it is that character who was won or lost. We are not that character, we are something higher. And when we dont have the anxiety of win or loss, we can play well and get joy from the whole process. This is bliss, I guess.

So, lets try to flow or to swim or to float.

-Pompeyy

Thought of everyday

"Know that you are special, behave as you very ordinary" - Sri Sri Ravi Shankar.

Thought of the day

Look inside, and not outside.

Thought of everyday

"Will I be doing the same thing, if I know today is the last day."
"Dont try to cover yourself, we are born naked and we have to die one day."
- Steve Jobs.

Wake up, son.

In the end, I am a loser, who is killing himself every moment in the hope of the moment of joy. He is blind, doesnt see the women who has pain in her eyes, but ogles at the women sitting next to her, who has the most kissable lips.

What I dont understand:

*The English grammar, with so many exceptions and so many rules. I still cant write a gramatically correct prose.
*How do women behave, I dont know why do they do, what they do.
*Why the earth is round, when it always looks flat, but I dont care much about it.
*Why do people want to goto Mars ?
*Why do people waste their lives on what other think, say or do.
*Why are there so many rules, institutions; Alas, poor spontaneity has to die.
*Why are so many people blessed, happy and some torn, raped, hungry, lost, overused, oppressed.
*Why do people beleive in god, and still feel so insecure.
*Why is everyone blinded by sex and money
*Why dont I do something useful, then just philosophising.

welcome to the Hotel California

No one can put it better than:

"You can check out anytime you want but you can never leave."

So is california: pretty, sunny, easy going. People are nice, girls are pretty and horny. Landscape is diverse: ocean, mountains, desert, canyons, everything. Opportunities are myriad. Life style is laid back, but hard working.

It is a place, where geeks breed and make fortunes and live happily ever after. It is a place where I want to be, dont you ?

I came back from california last night and a snow storm is saying me: "welcome to New Jersey."

Waiting to sing it again: "Going to California with ache in my heart ..."

Happy Wednesday

To all the people who dont wait for the day to celebrate love, have a nice wednesday.

And to the rest, all the best for your role of romeo or juliet.

cheers, :).

Need of Need

Imagine our all wishes come true instantly,
Imagine all the things we desire are ours now.
Imagine your dream prince(ess) is in front of you.
Imagine we have achieved all our ambitions
Imagine we have enough money to do everything
Imagine we are always surrounded with the people we like most
Imagine there is no thirst
there is no desire left over
there is no pain due to any loss/anguish
there is nothing to look forward to anything
there is no wait for something fairytailish
there are no ambitions to be fulfilled
life looks perfect

I dont want a life like this. I believe the cause of perfectness of the life is its imperfectness and we are better off craving for things.

On Sale

a body, a heart and a soul.

Price: Free, but the taker might become demented and insane after a little use.

Recommendation: Only someone who doesnt loves her life too much, should think of living it in just few moments.

Anyone ?

Days are bright and nights are insane

lonliness + cold weather + darkness = 100% insanity.

When you are enthusiastic

you dont want anyone to take a pie of your life
you ignore everything and everyone around
you are full of self conceit
you would enjoy each glance from a woman
you are at toes, bubbling with life and energy
you would be a standout in a gathering

and when you are not,
you search outside for happiness
you loose your identity
you would crave for every woman you see
you would see nothing inside you
you would try to look around for a moment of comfort
nobody will love you
people will turn out to be strange
life will look like a boat in a storm
even a little sweet talking will sooth you a lot
you would be looking for options all around
you would become a seeker and desperate

life is a see-saw, we all need patience and humility.

Most popular men

Its not a survey, but I just googled some people and ranked them according to number of pages.

1. Steve Jobs (130,000,000)
2. Christ (114,000,000)
3. Bill Gates (60,500,000)
4. Michael Jordon (56,500,000)
5. Shakespeare (54,400,000)
6. Mozart (49,800,000)
7. Hitler (41,000,000)
8. Einstein (40,000,000)
9. Schumacher (25,700,000)
10. Gandhi (21,400,000)

Interesting to see that Steve Jobs has the maximum hits and that too by a margin.

Notify me if you find someone in between. There is a caveat that the pages might be for other people also who share the same name, but i guess they will be very less than the intented ones.

Not so long ago

when I was a child:

1. I used to love math problems, more than now.
2. Doing complex calculations used to be my favourite hobby and way of entertaining people.
3. Not so surprisingly, I used to love solving puzzles.
4. But, I used to hate the scenario sitting with hundreds of kids and competing for some covetous reward. I rather liked of being on my own and doing it for fun or challange and not competing.
5. I used to like all the detective serials and Byomkesh Bakshi was my favourite.
6. I used to be afraid of strangers and didnt talk to them untill I had seem them long enough. That is why I didnt talk to many people.
7 . I liked to be on my own rather than with people.
8 . I had dreams of being alone in this world and then eating and doing whatever and whenever I want.
9. I used to wet my pants when nervous, till quite late.
10. I used to love my mum a lot more. Now I can see her shortcomings also.
11. I used to consider my father a stranger till quite late when, he saved me from drowning in a water fall. Then, I realised he is indeed a friendly man.

I read "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time" by Mark Haddon, and it refreshed me with my childhood memories.

Trishula

The three pointed weapon can kill a man.
The sidemost kills the soul.
The other side one is the one which kills the heart.
The middle one kills the mind.

The difference in the length of the spears, is the difference in the time, when each of the part is killed.

And the difference in the time when the soul and heart is killed to when the mind is killed, is the duration of our life.

So, trishula is the cause of the life we are leading. With our heart and soul killed at birth, waiting for the mind to die.

Whosoever, can win over this trishula only, can try to live, otherwise we all are androids.

a poem

Oh you girl, do you have love for me
Oh you begger, do you have a penny for me
Oh you friend, do you have a reason for being with me
Oh you teacher, can you give me some wisdom
Oh you preacher, shut the fuck up
Oh you leader, get over your desires
Oh you lover, is there any lust left over in you
Oh you scientist, do you think your science will help any poor
Oh you human, are you human ?
Oh you musician, better listen to your soul
Oh you money grabber, do you know you are going to die one day
Oh you, party harder, cause no one will remember you, once you die.
Oh you student, free yourself from your ambitions.
Oh you the greatest, dont be so happy, nobody loves you.

Uncyclopedia

A very interesting link: http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Main_Page. It is NOT the more famous wikipedia, but it has very humourous definitions. Some of the few I read and devoured:

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/United_States_of_America

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Image:Worldmap.jpg

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Sex

http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Monica_Lewinsky

Enjoy.