Lonliness

It has been three full months of lonliness. It is not that bad as it sounds. But it is now getting into me and be a part of me. Now, even when I am in a group, I feel lonely. I feel like there is a shell around me which doesnt lets me socialize. I have become anti-social now. I dont know where will it end, and I dont even want to contemplate on that.

Effects of lonliness: You become self sufficient, in a way a strong individual. But its not fun , even though it sounds good. Some examples of self sufficiency: You play two player games like racket ball, by yourself. You start talking to yourself and lot of similar stuff. According to some people these are signs of insanity, but I dont know whether technically they are or not.

There is fun part to lonliness also. It gives you more time than you ever had. If you organize yourself well, you can do bunch of things, for which you dont need people around and they are fun, like writing an article like this. Doing the things, you always wanted but didnt have time. But, for all these things you have to be organized because if you are not, it is very likely depression will take over you. Reason being, life is never perfect and most of the people tend to be pessimistic. So, the key is to organize yourself, find some interesting things and pursue them.

Music was always a special friend of mine, but now it is my only friend. These are not my words but I have felt them close to my heart. Lot of songs which were just songs to me before are now my bread and butter. I am changing, and am liking it.

Lonliness affects the person. Now it is upto the individual how to act. There are only two paths, there is no middle path. It is essentially binary. To support it, US society is the most prominent society. Its essential nature of being individualistic, creates people who can be broadly categorised into two: maniacs or absolutely wise. There are living/dead and famous examples of this, which I dont want to quote here.

Infact, I would go ahead and say that, it is mandatory to be alone in order to be wise. Sometimes, I feel that now I can imagine things what I couldnt have before.
The more time you spend with yourself, the more you understand yourself and things around. Infact, you tend to develop an uncanny ability to analyze everything, which might bug you at times because it is not required but neverthless, it has its own benefits. The most prominent advantage is your reasoning power shoots up.

All said and done, currently, I am dying to be with my people in December. This means how badly I want it to end. Because, there is no greater joy than to be with the people you really love. This is another thing lonliness teaches you.