PhD or not ?

This question is haunting me for the past couple of years. When I was completing my bachelors, I was pretty sure that I dont have to do it since I was majoring in Computer Science (CS) and doing a Phd would have meant sticking to this field for all my life. It was like marrying CS in the indian style i.e. no divorce possible. This thought was scary because I didnt think I belonged to CS that much. Dont ask me then, why did I major in CS then, because in india you follow the herd, and thats what I did. But at all places herd mentality doesnt works, so here I am pretty much confused of what to do in my life.

I can choose to have a life of economic prosperity in US, but if do it I will loose my self, I will loose my goals. Unfortunately, I dont what are my goals? I wish I had some. I can easily chose to do a Phd and after that devote myself to research. But, I dont see this happening. Several reasons are accountable for this, first I dont think I have the perseverance required for research. Second, academic position which is a dream place for most researchers, is not fascinating for me. Third, I dont want to do research in most of the subjects I have studied in last years, rather I find other subjects which I have not studied more interesting. I have speculations regarding my commitment. If I didnt like something I studied, it maght be true that I wont like the other subjects once I study them. Who knows ?

The reason is I dont know myself. I just confessed something which I always feared to do. I wish it was untrue.

But, I see that the professors in places like harvard are people who are more capable than most of the CEOs and it is the latter ones who frequently goto the prior ones for consultation. They are like sun revering in their aura, wow I wish I could become like them sometimes in my life. Hopeless hopes, I know. All of these guys have one thing in common, they had a special interest and they wanted to delve deeper into it. Unfortunately, I dont have any.

These are the reasons why I dont want to do a PhD. But, I admire some of the PhDs that I am forced to think again and try to find a reason for doing a PhD. PhD is your original contribution to the body of knowledge. No matter how small it is, it is something you have created and the pleasure you would get in it is far more than any material pleasure. And it would be really worth it. But then it is a long commitment, a commitment of life time. And unless you really love doing research, you wont be able to sustain the rigor research entails.

All said and done, it seems that I am not fit for a phd. I hope this is the last time I am debating on this issue. I am a petty individual who I guess has not many options but to go for earning money and be satisfied with lesser self.