being born again

Again feels like a new birth
like a new awakening
When I take a vow that I wont die again
But I fear like each time
I will loose the track of my breadth

--

I wish

I could say the unsaid words
I could realize the unrealized fantacies
I could do the undone activities
I hope my soul will be in peace then.

"Hazaaron khwaishein aisi
ki har khwaish pe dum nikle
Bahut nikle mere armaan
lekin phir bhi kam nikle"

- Mirza Ghalib

The moment!

The moment is all about living in it. It is also like a bubble which bursts to create space for the new one. Some bubbles are very nice and some are not so. The nicer ones are the ones which overlap a lot of other bubbles also and leave a smile on our face when they go. The not so nice ones are like their names and we try to burst them. But, they still appear again and again, specially when our times are not so good. They try to push us further down and choke us. But, then there are the nice ones which fight with the bad ones and help us come out.

Sometimes the bubbles from future come back to present and take its space. Then, we start longing about what we want from life and fear from our fears.

Then there is our Mind, which is more complicated than a woman, and hence I never understand it. But, I do listen to it sometimes. It tells us to see the current bubble and see the nothingness inside it and live in it.

Then there is Mother, who lets us face everything. She is the source of all courage and character in us. She tells us to listen to our heart, when in confusion.

Unchanging life

Feels like the first summer
when we were young and restless
when the horizons were filled with joys
when we used to dream
when we used to trust
when we used to please
when we did not like to compete
when we used to ask everything
and not assume anything
when we used to feel sad for poor and miserable
when we used to be afraid
afraid of ghosts and not humans
when we used love everyone, back

When we were we
and not them

--

Sometimes, you feel to rebel against the process of becoming more practical and acceptable.

Happy Swatantra Diwas

A salute to the unique soul of this nation which lives in one fifth of the whole of mankind.

No Wonder

I have lot of time these days, its not my fault.
I have no job and no girlfried, no problem!

People find me intricate and complex, thats how I am.

I freak people out, the devil inside me gets nasty sometimes.

I am in zen sometimes, cause I find the solitude bliss most of times.

I have no plans, I find myself to fit in something for long time not to be free.

I am sure of things, because subconsciously I know what I want.

I find peace in most chaotic situations, I dont know why?

A tribute to The Beautiful Game

I feel the same way I felt when I left India this time. I was leaving everyone I have lived with and everyone who lives in me. Today, again I am getting the same feeling on the thought that it is the last friday football game for me with the group I am playing since last 14 months.

Football has been a way for me to look good, to meditate, to convince myself that if you love something that much, you can become a part of it. My most fantacies for last two years have been dedicated for the game. Couple of times I have refused to hang out with women because of scheduled game during that time. My reason of being happy on my bday was that I scored a very nice goal that day, I thought of it as a gift to myself.

A warm thanks to all my beautiful friends.

Some moments:

?

A question we should ask ourselves, is it worth the price I am paying for it?

--

I guess it can answer a lot of questions and save us from a lot of unpleasant experiences.

Different colours, Different nationalities, One Love!

Fifth anniversary celebration of our football group at Mark's (the guy in yellow).

Thought of the day

Try very hard, try to give just a little short of your best, so that there is a room for improvement, always!

Hope

You are alone
Your work is stuck in the middle, from a while.
Your soulmates are not around
You are longing for recognition, which no one gives you
You are lost and disillusioned.
But, it drizzles with a nice breeze
And you put a soulful love song
And the hope comes back, again!

~love

Heart, Mind ?

Would you listen to your mind and always take the most calculated decision or instead listen to your heart and wont mind going for an exhilarating ride, no matter where it is going.

Or would you listen to your senses and instincts and be wild all the time.

It all depends on how do you perceive your life as, journey or destination. Is it a celebration in itself or a quest for our desires and ambitions. I think it is a wonderous journey which has no definite answers, no rights, no wrongs. Nothing is true and nothing is false, or as shakespeare puts it: "It is a stage, and we all are enacting our roles".

Sometimes, when I try to see life from an outsider's perspective, I find it is a painting where colours are sometimes harmonious and rest of time chaotic. Is harmony is the only thing we want? Is chaos too disturbing? Does chaos lead to harmony? Is chaos the necessary phase to reach harmony?

Then, are we moving in any direction, or our lives are just like sine waves. Going up and down without making us any more wiser.

Mother

She exists in the soul of the words, we speak.
She exists in the soul of the characters, when we write.
She can be found in the soul of the dance.
She exists in the soul of the rain drops, which fall, clouds which hover, sometimes ominous, sometimes blissfull.
She is beyond Good and Evil.
She is the Virgin (Mary) and she is the Witch.
She believes in only one rule, the rule of love.
She believes in letting go, rather than withholding.
She is the Woman, She is the God.

--

An inspired poem after reading "The Witch of Portobello" by Paulo Coelho.

syndrome of being vivering

Doing everything you can till the last moment, then you realise this is not what you want.

There is mess all around and inside.

Some people are giving directions, ironically they are themselves lost.

There is no one way, infact all roads are round abouts.

The mysteries are too many, and am running after them like a mad man.

Memories are disturbing and the future is uncertain.

Is there any cure?

Humanity Vs Plasticity

Spontaneity Vs Craftiness
Bliss Vs Happiness
Loneliness Vs Loss of self
Failure Vs Fear of Failure
Honesty Vs Acceptance
Alive Vs Dead
Security Vs Fear
Respect for life Vs Love for life
...

Choose your way!

song of devotion

You make me free
even though are not for free
You are my sweetheart
Please never break my heart
You dont bitch around
I always wish you are around

This is not a crush, but love
longest ever I have loved someone
I wish I could live with you, die with you.

You have given my life a purpose,
it is to be always around you.

You can have different taste
different ways to embrace
but to me, all ways seem the same.

promise me you would be around
no matter where I am on the ground.

Why would a woman love a man?

Is it because of what a man is in general?

or

How does that man treats that woman?

Both is not an option.

Bliss!

When you feel like dancing
When every inch of you is bubbling
When the time stops
When love has filled the air
When you can see into the eyes you want to look into
When you are surrounded by friends
When you are with people, who want to see you
Its Homecoming again and here I come with my arms wide open, the same smile and tears filled eyes.

Mood: Euphoric
Music: Euphoria, Indian Ocean.

your father is drunk
your mother is dating some other man
the girl you like is cold
your friends dont like you anymore
your art, no one understands

there is always a reason not to live.

--

ps: a part of this text is borrowed, dont remember from where.

a noble celebration

Life is a divine celebration of the seeing of our everlasting existence. It is to celebrated with divinity, charm, love and bliss. We have to think of our forefathers who has given us a heritage to be proud of, to look at and feel so small and yet so lucky.

How many times do we really express gratitude towards the art, beauty we enjoy everyday.

How many times do we wake up and promise that we will add our bit to this human heritage.

How many times do we wallow in joy, do we still remember what a joy is, or is it lost somewhere in our daily lives.

Has it happened ever that we have loved something or someone and say that I just want to see it and not possess it or may be want to share it.

Someone has to fill, since everyone is snatching.

We all have to physically die, that should not bother us. Lets share, spread bliss and smile in our toughest times. For a moment, lets feel as if we are free like our souls. Lets pick any road blindly knowning fully that all roads lead to thee. Lets dance, sing , La La La.

Lets not be greedy. No amount of material will make us happy, it will take our peace for sure.